Tiny Beautiful Things No. 18: I think people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination.
We’re always thinking that some day we’ll be happy.. that we will get that car or that job or that person in our lives that will fix everything.. but in all reality happiness is a mood. It’s a condition not a destination. It’s like being tired or hungry. It’s not permanent. It comes and goes and that’s okay. I feel like if people thought of it that way.. they’d find happiness more often.
I was thinking.. at some point you have to just make a decision.
When you think about it: boundaries don’t necessarily keep other people out.. they fence you in. Life is messy. But, that’s okay.. because that’s how it’s supposed to be. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. What’s it going to be?
Sometimes I flash on the fact that I’m never going to see her again.. and I can’t breathe. So, I can only imagine how that feels for you. I was thinking about the finality of it all.. how somebody can leave your world in the blink of an eye and be gone forever. Sometimes, it’s too enormous to think about.. it’s too hard. But if I learned anything through all my pain that I’ve ever endured, it’s to live my life to the fullest and try to be the best I can be. To treat people well and with respect. And most importantly, to be honest and love with all my heart. Okay yes, that sounded really cliche.. but I know that you know I’m right. I’m just waiting on you to realize it for yourself. Your mother was proud of you. And it would break her heart to know that her beautiful, kind, inspiring daughter was suffering like this. I know that because I’m your daughter.. and it breaks mine too. Now, our lives are difficult and unbearable sometimes. So struggle and find your own way back on your own terms and in your own way. But please, remember this.. your mother would want you to be vibrant and inspiring in the face of hard times. She’d want you to fight your pain with all you’ve got. So do it for her, for me.. but most importantly for yourself. Life’s too short. You never know what tomorrow holds.
